Little old ladies

Here is a hilarious board from a side pairs game at nationals.



I am sitting South, West opens 1NT, and the auction quickly reaches 4H. To my surprise, West is encouraged by East's mild slam try and decides to ask for...something. East responds 5H, to which West confidently sets the slam contract. I double, leaving partner to figure out where my void is.

Partner decides to ask about 5H; declarer responds that it shows two aces. Thinking 4NT is asking for keycards, partner asks "Without the queen of hearts?" at which point declarer looks at her hand and confirms "Without the queen of hearts."

Partner thinks for a few seconds, and she settles on a small club. Dummy comes down thus: JT632 of hearts, AQ of spades, A73 of diamonds, and T32 of spades in a second pile. Declarer looks at dummy for a second or two and says "play." My partner then calmly informs the opponents that dummy's spades are missorted, disguising her panic at discovering that I was actually calling for a spade lead. East apologizes to partner and collects the spades into one neat stack. Now, declarer calls for a small club again, and partner again calls attention to the club void on the board. I stare blankly throughout, trying not to laugh. I collect the two top trumps, +100.

After the session, my partner and I have a conversation something like this:

Partner: "Why did declarer bid slam off two keys?"
Me: "Because they were playing Blackwood."
Partner: "Then why did 5H deny the queen of hearts?"
Me: "Because declarer had it."

We laughed for a while, certain that this score would be a top. It turns out that it was only 7 of 11 matchpoints, as six other pairs had earned +100, and somebody ended up +300. Come on, field!